Amy Poehler - Old Navy ad outtakes.
I found a scissor blade…
|—||Martha Speaks (via quotationalquotes)|
This makes me very uncomfortable
you got your chocolate in my peanut butter?
Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.
Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”
“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”
“How about me?”
He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”
She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.
|—||"Bedtime Story", Jeffrey Whitmore (via arbryna)|